i will tell you about selfish people. even when they know they will hurt you they walk into your life to taste you because you are the type of being they don’t want to miss out on. you are too much shine to not be felt. so when they have gotten a good look at everything you have to offer. when they have taken your skin your hair your secrets with them. when they realize how real this is. how much of a storm you are and it hits the.
that is when the cowardice sets in. that is when the person you thought they were is replaced by the sad reality of what they are. that is when they lose every fighting bone in their body and leave after saying you will find better than me.
you will stand there naked with half of them still hidden somewhere inside you and sob. asking them why they did it. why they forced you to love them when they had no intention of loving you back and they’ll say something along the lines of i just had to try. i had to give it a chance. it was you after all.
but that isn’t romantic. it isn’t sweet. the idea that they were so engulfed by your existence they had to risk breaking it for the sake of knowing they weren’t the one missing out. your existence meant that little next to their curiosity of you.
that is the thing about selfish people. they gamble entire beings. entire souls to please their own. one second they are holding you like the world in their lap and the next day they have belittled you to a mere picture. a moment. something of the past. one second. they swallow you up and whisper they want to spend the rest of their life with you. but the moment they sense fear. they are already halfway out the door. without having the nerve to let you go with grace. as if the human heart means that little to them.
and after all this. after all of the taking. the nerve. isn’t it sad and funny how people have more guts these days to undress you with their fingers than they do to pick up the phone and call. apologize. for the loss. and this is how you lose her.
Hola, It’s been a while since I’ve uploaded and I can only apologise. Quite a bit has happened the last month or so, including working on a farm for a month, starting a new job at a print house and attempting to plan out my future. Since I’ve been away I’ve gained a whole new collection of items I’ve been loving, so here they are.
I unfortunately lost my Eyeko Black Magic Mascara which I absolutely LOVED. I actually wanted to replace that exact mascara, but when I popped back into M&S to grab it, that particular store didn’t stock it. I was desperate for a mascara so had to pick up anything I could which is why I ended up with this little gem. I don’t know if it’s as good as the Eyeko mascara, but it’s not bad. The consistency isn’t too thick which is fantastic as I like to layer it up. It also stimulates growth action, promotes lash thickness and adds an extra 1mm growth in a month. Whilst my natural lashes aren’t yet looking like falsies, I believe that this mascara is a lovely little product and the packaging makes me feel like I’m in 60’s glamour dressing room.
p.s. this product stings if it runs into your eyes, so if you are a big crier maybe avoid this on
If you read My July Favourites 2017, you’ll remember that it was heavily skin care based. Having rather troublesome skin means I’m always on the hunt for new remedies, foods and products to help clear the bugger up. I believe I showed you my Body Shop range of skin care but I have come to the conclusion that those products were too harsh and ladled with chemicals. I soon ditched them and hit up my natural care stores. Neal’s Yard products are very expensive but I always, always find that they are worth it. This particular facial scrub smells divine. It helps to clear my skin without irritating it which is hard to find in an exfoliator
Ultrabland Facial Cleanser, Lush
Now this is my holy grail. I use this at least once a day, but I try to use it in the morning and the evening. It is incredibly gentle and helps to clear my skin whilst also moisturising. On the label it says that over time it helps to balance out the skin to prevent acne.
Whilst I’ve found plenty or new artists and albums including; The Internet, Buddy, Tyler The Creator etc, there’s one song that I’ve had on repeat since I found it:
Electric Feel by Henry Green
This song really makes me slow down and think.
I finally purchased Rupi Kaur’s milk and honey! And I love it! I couldn’t have purchased it at a more relevant time. I’ve flicked through it every evening since I bought it and I cannot wait for her next book to arrive.
You may also know that I love Tuesday’s with Morrie by Mitch Albom, well I stumbled across his other book The Five People You Meet In Heaven on my travels. I, of course had to buy it immediately. I will let you know how amazing it is once I’ve read it.
My favourite piece of clothing has to be my big red puffa from UO. It was quite expensive, but so worth it. It honestly feels as though I’m wearing a duvet. What more could you want on your ice cold morning commute to work?
My other favourite has to be my black corduroy pinafore dress also from UO. Paired with either a plain tee or a sweater or even a nice shirt, this staple can be dressed up or dressed down for a warm, autumnal day look.
I know it’s only the beginning of July, but I know I’ll be loving everything listed here for the rest of the month.
From books to make-up to quotes; here is everything I’ve been loving.
1. What is my favourite book?
A Man’s Journey To Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach and friends.
I picked this book up for £1 from The Blue Cross charity shop in Farnham whilst volunteering. It is a collection of short stories written by men. They speak about their daily experiences and the issues crucial to them whilst covering masculinity and it’s modern day definition. ‘A Man’s Journey to Simple Abundance shows how the joys and regrets of life can bring a deeper understanding of the self and that not-so-simple creature, man.’. This is a rather random read for me, but I’m definitely enjoying it – it cures the boredom that overcomes me at work.
2. What is my favourite song?
Can I pick an album? Well I am anyway.
My favourite album at the moment HAS to be 99.9% by KAYTRANADA. I’ve been listening to a couple of his songs over the last few weeks, but I only recently gave the entire album a listen – and I LOVE it. Oh and the album art is pretty damn cool too.
3. What is my favourite place to be?
After wanting to take up rowing for years, I finally took the plunge and joined Weybridge Rowing Club a few months back. The club house is located right next to a very scenic lock, and rows of beautiful houses line the sides of the river. The club is full of the most lovely people – there’s no way anyone could be sad here.
Here is the lock and house just outside the club – cute right?
4. What is my favourite show?
Love Island – need I say anymore?
5. What is my favourite food or dish?
I’ve for some reason rekindled my love for bagels, healthy right?
6. What is my favourite piece of clothing?
I picked up a black playsuit from Urban Outfitters by Staring At Stars for my uncle’s chilled summer wedding. It’s so incredibly comfy, it actually feels like pyjamas – could you ask for anything more?
7. What is my favourite scent?
My favourite scent is that of ACQUA DI PARMA Blu Mediterraneo, FICO di AMALFI.
This was my favourite in my February Favourites 2017 blog post. That could be because of how amazing it smells, or just because I take a long time to get through perfumes – I like to savour every spray. Once I actually manage to use it all up, I would definately like to try out more of their range – delizioso!
8. What is my favourite skin care product?
If you know me in person, you’ll know that I struggle to keep my skin clear. I like to use soft, natural products rather than harsh chemicals and medicine.
A really lovely lady in The Body Shop helped me pick out an array of items best for my skin. She introduced me to Tea Tree Skin Cleansing Mattifying Toner, Tea Tree Skin Clearing Facial Wash, Tea Tree Night Time Moisturiser (not pictured), and lastly the Seaweed Pore-Cleansing Exfoliator.
After using these products for a few weeks, my skin definitely feels cleaner. I notice that it’s prevented quite a few break-outs, but my skin is left feeling quite dry. This could be because these products are a bit too harsh for my sensitive skin. Although they are deemed ‘natural’, I believe that they still contain sulfates.
I’m going to use up these products, and then search around for similar but softer products – I’ll keep you updated. Oh, and of course these products are cruelty-free!
9. What is my favourite beauty product?
This is another one from The Body Shop. It is the Drops Of Glow Lustre Finish Creator, it’s a kind of liquid illuminating highlighter. This is great to apply to the cheek bones, above the eye brows, top of forehead, end of nose, chin, and jaw line after applying foundation. It leaves a dewy and fresh-faced look. Great for an everyday or night time look. It cost a reasonable £12.
10. What is my favourite quote?
Oh you know me and my quotes.
My favourite book quote is from the book I mentioned earlier – A Man’s Journey To Simple Abundance. This piece was written by Roshi Jakusho Kwong, As It Is.
‘Remember when you learned how to tread water? The more you concentrated on trying to achieve buoyancy, the deeper you sank. It’s only when you start feeling the water and forgetting the self that buoyancy happens. The ego has to get out of the way before you can learn and realize things. You have to empty your cup so you can fill it.’ p.88
So this is something quite a lot of people in my life don’t understand.
I like to follow a more holistic and natural approach to my health.
When I have a head ache, or just don’t feel right I never reach for the overly-used ibuprofen or paracetamol. I only take pharmaceutical drugs when I’m in too much pain to handle (which thankfully isn’t very often at all). Instead I like to reduce it with natural products or just bear through the pain. This is when people often remark; “Why don’t you just take a tablet? Why suffer?”.
I believe that pharmaceutical drugs only cover the symptoms, and don’t actually address what’s causing the problem. Surely the symptoms will only keep on arising as long as the root of your pain isn’t addressed?
Here’s an example; I class caffeine as a drug. It affects our body when consumed. So the other day I was feeling incredibly lethargic. At work I could hardly keep my eyes open and no matter how much I slept, I was exhausted. When I mentioned this a lot of people just said “Have a cup of coffee”. I understand that this will improve my symptoms right now, but once it wears off I will be right back at square one. I picked up on some other symptoms such as bruising easily and paler lips. I knew that I was lacking iron. I went straight to the ol’ trusty Holland & Barrett and picked up some iron vitamins. Within a day my symptoms had been abolished. Completely resolved. I now knew to consume more iron rich food (dark chocolate here I come). Instead of covering over my tiredness with caffiene, I cured my lethargy completely.
I picked up 100 15mg Iron tablets from Holland & Barrett for £7.59. They also include small doses of other vitamins and minerals such as; Vitamin C, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, and many more.
Here are a couple more natural products I’ve been loving lately.
Evening Primrose Oil. This stuff is great for reducing PMS and helping to balance out hormones. I bought this from Neil’s Yard for £9.50. Incredibly expensive considering you only get 30ml. I actually ran out the other day so I’ve got to re-splurge, definitely somewhere cheaper though that’s for sure. This is a great alternative to other hormone based medicine such as the contraceptive pill (for balancing hormones that is, not protection against pregnancy).
Green Rooibos tea. This was a complete random buy as it was on offer for £1 in, you guessed it, Holland & Barrett. Tea is fantastic for clear skin, a clear mind, and a hydrated body. Rooibos tea is actually made from an African bush so isn’t technically a tea. It is known for its abilities to clear up skin, reduce stress and even fight cancer. Although it’s not known if it’s actually better than green tea, it’s a great little mix up if your daily green tea is getting rather repetitive. I imagine the pure Rooibos loose tea leaves are even better, give it a try. Maybe this could reduce your need for anti-anxiety medication or skin-clearing medicine.
So what’s the point of this blog post? Well hopefully I’ve inspired you to question your drug taking. Instead of just popping pills and thinking nothing of it, question if there’s something different you could do that’s better for you, your mind, and better ethically. Taking a few minutes to research online about your symptoms and any natural cures is definitely worth a try.
Let me know of any natural medication you take.
I purchased this cold-pressed evening primrose oil from Holland & Barrett for £23.99. Yes, very expensive. But, I am getting 120ml rather than 30ml. All in the name of health hey?
“Take any emotion – love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them – you can never get to being detached, you’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience the fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.'”
– Spoken by Morrie Schwartz, taken from Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
I spotted this magazine on the shelf of a newspaper stand in Asda. I was drawn to it’s clean, modern style and beautiful imagery. As soon as I opened the magazine, I began walking back to the check-outs. I am not interested in surfing, I have never tried it. But, I found the style of this magazine very unique and inspiring. It now sits next to my bed to remind me of the kind of pieces I could one day be working on. Wavelength magazine is based in Newquay, Cornwall aka the home of surfing. I have taken several images of my copy of the magazine, only including my favourite pages.
Bobbie Burgers is a female artist that I found via Pinterest. I LOVE flowers and plants. So much so, that I incorporate them in the majority of my designs. As someone who has previously worked with acrylic paints, I can appreciate the talent needed to create these pieces of art. I believe in the use of bright and bold colours. Although they are mainly used as ‘feature’ colours, Burgers has created all of her work using statement colours. This creates an uplifting and happy feeling when viewing her art. This is a feeling I would love others feel when witnessing my designs.
I also found Yener Torun through Pinterest. Photography and architecture (it was chosen topic for AS Level Fine Art) are two elements I adore, so when mixed, it’s only right for me to love it. As someone who is actively taking pictures, I am able to appreciate Torun’s fantastic composition and colour use. The detail and balance of his photographs are immaculate, and inspire me to create designs that produce the same amount of satisfaction when viewed.
KARIN NOVAK NEAL
Karin Novak Neal paints tropical trees, plants, and flowers. Being someone who loves colour and the use of plants in my designs, Neal’s work inspires me incredibly. Her work is very unique, and the colours she uses are positive and tropically this artist inspires me to carry on creating unique designs that I love.