I wrote this at the beginning of last month, 2nd of June to be exact. After reading a very inspiring post by the Human’s Of New York (@humansofny), I thought I would write a response. Even if I can’t relate to this person’s problems specifically, growing up is a part of life that everyone goes through. My thoughts have changed since writing this, but I thought it would still be fun to share.
‘I read this about an hour ago. To carry this wisdom at such a youthful age is merely awe inspiring. I recently turned twenty and I am only just coming to terms with this philosophy. I am only just advancing to the reality that I may not be myself yet, and I may not be leading the life that I am destined to. But that does not mean I never will. This is not my path forever. It is simply a small road that leads to one thousand more destinations. Just because I lost my identity does not mean I will never get it back. I think I am starting to find my feet, but I haven’t wholly let go. This has given me the chance to re-build my foundation. I find it difficult to work out whether I am making decisions because I want to do it with all my heart, or because I believe that is what I should want. Because it looks good to enemies, or adds to an identity that others aspire to have. But why aspire to hold an identity that I don’t truly want? The regret I would hold to see other beings following their souls and possessing an identity that is authentically them would be in great quantities. I am scared that I am wasting my own precious life. I want to be me, I want to know what I want. But I don’t. I am so deep into this mind set that I am afraid I will be trapped here forever. But, you see, this is where we relate back to those influential words. This is not me forever. This is not who I will be in the future. I am still learning. I am still changing. I will always be changing.’