Me, Age 20

Today it is Tuesday the 21st of March, 2017. It is currently 7:14 pm and 8 degrees outside.

Someone I’m not close to asked me to go and see a band with them in London. I said no because I don’t have any money and already have plans to see Sam.

Today I bought a navy shirt-type jacket for £1 from Phyllis Tuckwell. I buy the majority of my clothes from charity shops. I hate wearing things that I might see someone else in. I have this real thing about being an individual, or unique I guess I’d call it.

Oh, I also bought two books, £1 each. I’ll let you know if they’re any good. I only bought one of them because I liked the cover.

Right now I’m listening to Drake’s new album ‘More Life’ which he released on Saturday. So far my favourite track is Madiba Riddim.

I’m currently working at the Army Golf Club where I pour pints, take orders, and wait.

I took Sunday off because I needed to create my portfolio and send it to Creative Pioneers. I have applied to an apprenticeship in graphic design with a company called Cultr Pvt Ltd. They are based in Bloomsbury which would mean I’d have to spend £4-5k per year on travel. The job is only for £12 months. I had an interview for it last Friday in Greenwich. I have some pretty tough competition. Right now I’m waiting to hear back to find out as to whether I have an interview.

If I don’t get this apprenticeship then I’m going to have to start looking into graphic design degrees. So far I’ve had a peak at Goldsmith’s and Edinburgh’s course structures. I really don’t want to go to uni, but the graphic design industry is a tough one to get into, and there aren’t many other routes I could take to be successful. I guess I’d get a strong portfolio out of it, and so I should for £9k a year.

My car is broken. Something about my valve being cracked. I can’t drive for more than 5 minutes before my acceleration dies and I have to re-start my engine at a junction. The mechanics have quoted £600-£700 to get it fixed. I’m poor and cannot afford that so my dad is going to have to help me, he’s helped me out a lot. This makes me feel very guilty.

I put a lot of pressure on myself for not being where I want to be. I’m teaching myself the art of building a foundation and being patient with my goals. At age 20 I thought I’d have a job, a good car, and live in my own home. I work at a golf club, have a very broken car, and live at home.

My favourite place to be is my bedroom. Today I went to B&Q to pick up a few colour examples, I’m wanting to paint my walls. I really like Summer Moss, Sunwashed Meadow, Sugar Leaves, and Nectar of the Goddess.

I can now manage my anxiety. By taking St John Worts, folic acid, iron, vitamin c, vitamin b12, and drinking lots of chamomile tea, it seems to have subsided a lot. This has majorly improved my quality of life.

I listened to ‘A Millennials Guide To Kissing’ By Emma Court, read Emmy Rossum from Shameless (oh, did I mention that I’m obsessed with that show). It inspired me to write more.

I’ve got an interview at 9:30 am tomorrow. This is to be a voluntary visual merchandiser at Blue Cross charity shop in Farnham. With the number of clothes I have purchased from second-hand stores, I think I’m experienced enough for the job.

Sam’s going to pick me up at 8pm. He’s taking me to Tescos to get gluten-free, vegan chocolate chip cookies. I’ve been craving them all day. I’m avoiding most gluten as I believe it reduces my spots. Yeah, I’m 20 and still suffer from acne.

So, until next year…


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